The Time We Weren’t Allowed To Sit On the Grass Lest We Be Mooned

This one reminds me of the apocryphal story about Golda Meir, who was told “We want to institute a curfew for women in Tel Aviv because there’s been a spate of rapes.” Her supposed reply, “So institute a curfew for men. The women didn’t do anything wrong.”  

My Bais Yaakov was always trying to think of new ways to keep us as sheltered

as possible. Thankfully they never resorted to restricting the places we could and

couldn’t go (except for movie theatres of course) like many schools did. The

administration would attempt to monitor our behavior by placing “spies” at popular

teenage hangout areas, and my friends and I used to getting called into the principal’s

office on a Monday to discuss the length of the skirts we had worn the previous

Saturday night. However, despite their best efforts to control our every move, they

couldn’t protect us from everything.

 

My school had extensive enough grounds (some grass) and we would often take

a walk around the school during our afternoon Mincha break to get some air. Our third

period teacher was usually late, which gave us a slightly longer break than usual. One

afternoon we were sitting in our third period class waiting for the teacher, when two of

my classmates burst into the classroom sobbing hysterically. We got the story from

them between their dramatic, heaving gasps. These two girls had been taking a

pleasant stroll outside when a truck pulled up in front of them and both the driver and

passenger dropped their pants, exposing their naked buttocks.

 

There were girls of various religious backgrounds in my class, and some of us

probably would have welcomed a naked butt at 2:30 pm if only to add some excitement

to our day. These were not those girls. This was the most male nudity they had seen in

their lives thus far, and they were decidedly horrified. My friends and I delighted in this

story, we had a new respect for the two men who had nothing better to do than drive by

the nearby parochial school and moon the uniformed students. I can only imagine the

delight that the girls’ reaction on their end must have caused.

 

My school dealt with the pressing issue by informing that us we were no longer

permitted to go outside during our Mincha break, lest we all get mooned. They also told

us that if we were to go outside, we were not to sit down. Sitting or “lounging” in the

grass may be seen as provocative and might encourage drivers of passing cars to

expose themselves to us. This rule was proven extremely ineffective, however I did get

detention for lounging in the grass, but only for my own protection of course.

Story by KJ. 

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The Time We Weren’t Allowed To Sit On the Grass Lest We Be Mooned

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