I was happy to receive this email from Ruchama a few weeks ago. Consider it a template of sorts.
Hi, I am a student in a well known bais yaakov-type school. Although i enjoy your blog a lot, my high school experience has not been anything like yours. In the school I go to, pretty much any question is answered. The hanhala understands that as teenagers, we are bound to have questions, and our questions deserve answers.
While some might call my school “less yeshivish” in truth the hashkafos are the same as those of any bais yaakov — but they understand that in order to be mechanech today’s generation, some of their teaching methods need to be different. I never remember a teacher refusing to answer a question asked by one of her students (well, only once, but she made it very clear that there was nothing wrong with the question. She was just uncomfortable answering it, and encouraged the student to ask someone else).
Nothing is shoved down our throats, and we are made aware that there are many different ‘right’ ways of serving Hashem. I once spent an entire class period discussing the merits of modern orthodoxy with my historia teacher. The whole kollel thing? Mentioned once throughout my entire high school career, and the teacher in question was telling us that we’re not all cut out for it.