The Time My Friend Didn’t Like a Guy Because He Watched Movies on the Plane

 

This is a real live IM conversation I had many years ago:

 

Friend: let me ask you a question
  how do you feel about the concept of watching movies
 me: where?
Friend: whats the differance where
 me: I wouldn’t do it in a theater.
 Friend: lets say on the plane
 me: I’d do it at home.
  sure.
  why not?
  nothing else to do.
  It’s like asking “what do you think of reading.”
  It depends what you read!
  Or what you watch.
 Friend: oh
 me: If it’s R rated, you don’t watch it.  If it’s a disney animation, you do.
 Friend: well basically i went out on a 6th date yesterday
 me: cool
Friend: and i want to say no
  because i think he’s too openminded
  about these things
 me: movies?
 Friend: but people are telling me that all yeshiva guys watch
me: I wouldn’t believe that
I can’t swear by it, but I think she ended up marrying him. Unless that was a different guy. 
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The Time My Friend Didn’t Like a Guy Because He Watched Movies on the Plane

4 thoughts on “The Time My Friend Didn’t Like a Guy Because He Watched Movies on the Plane

  1. DF3 says:

    “too openminded” is such a sad phrase. I have a feeling I know what she meant, but if that actually is the phrase she meant to have used, it’s unfortunate. You can have principles, and say that certain things violate those principles. But being “too openminded” implies, among other things, that one shouldn’t take anything but one’s own view, regardless of whether there are new facts in evidence to support an argument other than the one with which a person had been living for their entire life. Sad.

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  2. > one shouldn’t take anything but one’s own view, regardless of whether there are new facts in evidence to support an argument

    That is the definition of emunah peshuta, in contrast to considering evidence that contradicts beliefs, which is the definition of heresy.

    I agree that “opnminded” is not really the right word, but in the yeshivish world, it doesn’t mean, “willing to consider new ideas,” it means, “willing to slightly violate social/religious norms and do some things that MO people do.”

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    1. mothermechaneches says:

      Your definition of emunah pshuta is mistaken, as is all too common. It does not mean ‘blind faith’, disregarding ‘evidence’. Instead, it means the acceptance of obvious truths, without the immediate need for what others might call evidence. We apply that everyday to physical truths – when a ball is thrown your way, you don’t need to understand the laws of gravity and force, figure out the trajectory etc. , you just reach out to catch it. Emunah pshuta refers to acting in a way that demonstrates one’s bedrock belief that Hashem runs the world, and that is reflected in a person’s actions and reactions to events and people around him. pshuta means smooth, straight; not simple (or simple minded) as erroneously translated.

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  3. Esther Bernstein says:

    G*3 – agreed. But here’s an interesting story I still have not puzzled out:

    In high school, I made signs with cute and/or inspirational quotes to hang on the walls in our classroom. In ninth grade I had a quote about being open minded and added what I thought was witty (I’d heard it from someone else) “but not so open minded your brains fall out!” Yes, it’s dumb and not very conducive to acceptance of others. Because how do you know where to draw the line, how do you know when to tell someone “okay I have to stop listening to your opinion now because my brains will fall out”?

    The strange thing is that the mechaneches told me to take down that sign. Maybe it was the image of brains falling out that she deemed inappropriate for a Bais Yaakov classroom. I felt weird about it then but now I see the irony: a “quote” which actually encouraged the kind of purity of mind, aka narrow-minded exclusion of all other ideas, that she approves of – and she told me to take it down.

    So much of that little incident still confuses me. Not least of which I’d why I ever thought that was funny. Ah well…

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